To truly become the best version of myself, I have learned that I must start with the foundation: my self-image. It isn’t just “fluff”; it is the quiet dictator of how I think, feel, act, and perform. I will never consistently outperform the image I hold of myself. This realization shifted my focus from trying to change my results to trying to change my internal blueprint. Self-image is a collection of beliefs formed over time—through my childhood, my environment, and especially my internal self-talk. If I want to step into greatness and be of service to the world, I must first update the story I tell myself about who I am.
The Power of Identity and Neuroplasticity
I define identity as “repeated beingness.” It’s not about my job title or my roles; it is about who I am being every single day. My identity is shaped by the core values I hold, the actions I take, and, most importantly, the promises I make and keep to myself. When my values and actions align, my identity strengthens.
The most freeing concept I’ve embraced is neuroplasticity. My brain is not fixed; it is plastic. Every thought and action strengthens specific neural pathways. A negative self-image is merely a pattern my brain has practiced. Because of this, I can learn a confident self-image by practicing new patterns of action. Visualization and affirmations are useful, but my nervous system learns through experience. Action is the only way forward.
The Framework for Change: Awareness, Acceptance, Action
To change anything in my life, I follow a three-step approach. First, I cultivate Awareness, recognizing where my current self-image limits me. Second, I move into Acceptance, seeing my reality without judgment. Third, I take Action. Nothing changes without new behaviors. I must challenge the inherited narratives I carry—the voices that aren’t mine—and replace them with intentional ones backed by evidence.
To help with this, I use a five-minute daily routine to “channel my inner rockstar.” It starts with one minute of grounded breathing, followed by a minute of identity priming where I state my core values (like consistency, zest, and resilience). Then, I spend a minute visualizing one specific action I will take that reflects my best self. I make one small promise for the day—something too small to fail—and at the end of the day, I reinforce my progress by acknowledging what I did right and saying, “That’s like me.”
Honoring the Body and Building Self-Trust
I’ve found that exercise is one of the fastest ways to improve self-image. It’s not just about the physical change; it’s about the evidence. When I say I’m going to move and then I do it, I build credibility with myself. Self-trust is the foundation of confidence. I focus on the “four fundamentals”: eating well, moving well, sleeping well, and thinking well. When my behavior aligns with self-respect, my self-image naturally improves.
Elite performance in any field boils down to one thing: doing what you say you’re going to do. Every kept promise strengthens my self-trust; every broken one weakens it. I don’t earn a better self-image through positive thinking alone; I earn it through credibility and receipts.
Finding My “Massive Transformative Purpose”
Clarity is the direct driver of success. I have spent time developing absolute clarity about what I really want. I use the concept of a Massive Transformative Purpose (MTP)—a North Star that provides limitless fuel. My own MTP is to end mental suffering. It is audaciously big, transformative, and deeply purposeful. While I may never see its total completion, it gives me the direction I need.
To find my MTP, I looked at global challenges and tied them to my passions—the intersection of my curiosities. Once I have that “there,” I can focus on the “here.” This creates hope. To me, hope is the belief that the future will be better than the present and that I have the power to make it so. Hope requires three things: targets that fire me up, the agency to believe I can reach them, and the understanding that there are multiple pathways (and many obstacles) to get there.
Systems Over Goals
I have learned to value systems over goals. If I only chase a far-off goal, I feel like I’m losing until I reach it. But when I focus on a system—a process I execute daily—I am winning every single time I follow the protocol. As James Clear says, “You do not rise to the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.”
I divide my discipline into three categories:
- Structural Discipline: Dominating my daily protocols and hitting my targets regardless of how I feel.
- Reactive Discipline: The ability to step between a stimulus and a response to choose a better way forward when things get difficult.
- Expansive Discipline: The courage to step forward into growth rather than back into safety.
The Science of Behavior Change
I apply the formula B=MAP: Behavior happens when Motivation, Ability, and a Prompt converge. To install a good habit, I make it obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying. Most importantly, I make it “too small to fail.” If I want to meditate, I start with one deep breath. If I want to floss, I start with one tooth. I anchor these new behaviors to existing routines—if I brush my teeth, then I floss one tooth.
Conversely, to break a bad habit, I do the opposite: I make it invisible, unattractive, difficult, and unsatisfying. I “buy my willpower at the store” by not bringing junk food into the house, thereby removing the need to use finite willpower later.
Persistence and the Endlessly Evolving Process
Life is an endlessly evolving process. There is no point where I am “done.” I have fallen in love with the process of evolving rather than being attached to the outcome. Persistence is simply self-discipline in action. I have resolved in advance that I will never give up, because the price of inaction is far higher than the price of the work.
Ultimately, I do not decide my future; I decide my habits, and my habits decide my future. By changing what I do daily, I change who I am. I am a work in progress, a construction site that is always active. Through discipline, clarity, and tiny, consistent improvements, I am becoming the best version of myself.
QUOTE FOR YOU
"Persistence is self-discipline in action and the true measure of your belief in yourself."
QUESTION FOR YOU
Would I follow the person I see in the mirror today?
JOURNAL PROMPT FOR YOU
The "That’s Like Me" Audit: Write down three things you did today—no matter how small—that align with the best version of yourself. For each one, write the phrase "That’s like me because..." followed by the core value it represents. Then, identify one "broken promise" you made to yourself today and describe one tiny way you can reduce the friction to keep that promise tomorrow.
ARTICLE FOR YOU
SOMETHING FOR EVERYBODY
I do a podcast called Something for Everybody, listen here.
This week’s upcoming episodes:
Tuesday - 2/10 - Larry Bilotta
Friday - 2/13 - Solo Ep
Lots of love,
Aaron
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PS Drop a review on Spotify or Apple.
