Stop Being the "Second-Best" Version of Yourself

In a world that often feels like it's spinning on a hamster wheel of "going through the motions," it’s easy to feel like just another face in the crowd. But I truly believe we are each here to contribute something that no one else can. We are meant to offer our unique gifts to this world, and there is a profound, healing power in that realization.

When we let our lives be dictated by the opinions of others or the "shoulds" of society, we aren't just exhausted—we are living a warped, diluted version of ourselves. We are, quite literally, the best version of ourselves, but we will always be a second-best version of someone else. From a mental health perspective, trying to fit into someone else's mold is a recipe for burnout and disconnection.

The Myth of "Just Being Average"

The world doesn’t need you to shrink. It doesn’t need you to be smaller or "fixed" to fit a standard. It needs you—the real, unfiltered you. The best way to combat the "numbness" of modern life is to go all-in on the things we love. Aspiring toward excellence isn't about the pressure to be perfect; it's about the journey of becoming the best version of ourselves in service to the world.

I recently saw a comment from someone arguing that elite success is only for the "genetically gifted." They suggested that for the rest of us, "having a life" means accepting mediocrity because we weren't born with the right "sports genes" or "math brain."

While it’s true that I’m probably not going to the NBA if I’m under 6 feet tall, we need to stop applying the "genetics excuse" to our mental and emotional growth. We aren't just talking about sports; we’re talking about being an elite human. Being an elite parent, a dedicated friend, or a visionary in your local community.

The 98th Percentile Rule

A mentor of mine once shared a perspective that shifted how I view human potential: You can get to the 98th percentile of just about anything through hard and smart work.

Think about the relief in that. You don't need "God-given" lightning in your veins to be incredible at what you do. Whether it’s mastering a craft, improving your emotional intelligence, or building a business, a decade of singular focus and "smart work" will make you very, very good.

What about that last 2%? Those elite, "once-in-a-generation" heights? You won’t even know if you have the "genetics" for those until you actually try. But even if you never hit that top 2%, being in the 98th percentile of your own life is a transformative place to be.

Why This Matters for Your Well-Being

Choosing to pursue excellence in what you love is a vital alternative to the "numbed out" existence so many of us fall into. It gives us:

Purpose: A reason to get out of bed that belongs to us, not our boss or our social media feed.
Agency: The realization that while we can't control our height or our DNA, we can control our effort and our focus.
Connection: When you contribute your unique gift, you finally feel like you belong in the world because you are filling a space only you can fill.

The world needs you here, fully present and striving. Don’t let the fear of not being "the best in the world" stop you from being the best version of you. Work smart, stay focused, and see just how far your unique gifts can take you.

JOURNAL PROMPT: In what area of my life am I currently playing the 'second-best version of someone else' to fit in or meet expectations? What is one specific thing the 'unfiltered' version of me would do differently in that space today?

Lots of Love. Thank you for being here.

From the YouAreLoved Team

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